…but also because I’m a massive Apple fanboy (and proud of it).
Category Archives: Humour
Satisfaction is:
Since I don’t have a 9 o’clock lecture this morning, in fact I have two 10am starts this week, I thought I’d share with you a little thing that happened to me on Monday. I was about to start cycling back from the Wilderness Medical committee meeting and social, so it was about 9pm. As I was unlocking my bike, a boy rode past on the pavement. Generally, I disapprove of cycling on the pavement, but I do it from time to time if I think it’s justified; such as if it is obviously much safer and there are no pedestrians about. Well at this time of night on a cold Monday, there weren’t too many people about, so I didn’t give him a death stare or anything, but I did notice him. As I set off along the road I must have passed him without being aware of it, I suspect because he was still on the pavement, although he did have a rear light. I stop at a set of traffic lights, although I’m at the front of the queue and there are no cars on to my road. In other words, I could have sped straight through the red light safely, but did not. Well this bloke comes past me, in the turn left only lane I might add, and across the junction. ‘Fair enough,’ I think. It was clear, it’s quite late, probably not a massively dangerous manoeuvre, but still.
The lights change to green and I’m off after him. There’s a good hill past the lights and, although he had a good head start, I reckon I can catch him because I’m on a better bike and can really crank through the gears. Unfortunately our cyclist friend displays a gross disregard for the zebra crossing and just goes around the people walking over the road, instead of stopping. Not to worry. It wasn’t really that important to me, just a little passing fancy, ‘wouldn’t it be good to beat him.’
At the roundabout at the bottom of the hill he is forced to stop by oncoming traffic, which allows me to catch up and even edge past him once we move off again. I pull away quite well, and get a decent lead because of my better bike. He is obviously behind me so I assume I’ve seen the last of him as I take my exit off the roundabout and carry on up the hill. Now, there is a big set of traffic lights half way up and they turn to red as I reach them. I stop, because it’s quite a busy junction. And would you believe who comes past me again? Everything else he had done up to this point may have been illegal, but at least it was safe. But this! Too many cars turning in too many different directions for pulling off stunts like that. A car that had right of way turning across our lane had to brake to avoid hitting this idiot as he threw the highway code out the window.
The lights change to green again and I set off. Idiot up ahead has a good lead on me, and it’s a hard hill, I didn’t think I’d have the stamina to catch him. Ahh but it’s amazing what a bit of annoyance can do. This twat, if you will forgive my use of the expression, is giving cyclists a bad name. He is breaking the rules in completely the wrong way, and it’s people like him who are making the police pull us up for the little things that they used to let us away with, like cycling the wrong way down a one-way street. He is, in short, and inconsiderate cyclist, and nothing on the roads makes me angrier than that.
Miraculously, I catch and overtake him. Nothing can describe the feeling of getting one over on this fool. He had a stupid bike, a stupid way of riding it and a stupid brain on his shoulders. And I beat him. Until I reached the next set of lights of course. They were at red when I arrived, and actually by being slower up the hill idiot boy behind me arrived just as they changed, so he didn’t have to stop, not that he would anyway, and managed to sail past me again.
Karma, it would seem, felt rather the same way as I did about this boy, and I did not have to wait long to see him get his comeuppance. Less than 2 seconds in fact. I’m not sure whether it was the blinding rage that built in him, no doubt because he was being beaten by this young upstart with a snazzy bike and nerdy reflective stripes that caused it. Or maybe it was simply that his pitiful handful of neurons couldn’t quite process the information in time, but either way, he failed to see the huge pothole in the middle of the junction. No, instead he cycled straight though it, at a reasonable pace, and experienced what I can only describe as a testicle crushing jerk.
Truly, the boy landed forwards on his saddle with quite a bit of velocity, straight on to his family jewels. How he managed to stay on his bike I will never know. I was too busy laughing to pay much attention. I cycled off in to the night, nerdy reflective stripes glowing happily.
Shatner Of The Mount
Ok, I’m not dead, just on holiday. Another filler post here for you.
I found this YouTube video very funny, but you may not. I find it funny because, a) I’ve seen the film being, errr.. “discussed”; and b) it’s William freekin’ Shatner!!!!
So, mostly for the nerds out there (who have no doubt already seen this, because we spend, like, all day on YouTube, right? o_O) here is……
Shatner Of The Mount
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p.s. The source material for this video is here. Absolute bull crap like.
It’s a good book.
Another xkcd comic
Guilty as Charged
Doctors at a hospital in London have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.
